Golf from the Growling Swan

by Peter Blackburn

On a fine and sunny Pattaya morning we made our way to The Growling Swan to prepare for the journey to the challenging Treasure Hill Golf Course. A couple of late cancellations brought our numbers to 30. We welcomed our good friend Walter Baechli back from his cycling tour of Northern Thailand and newcomer George Smails from Newcastle, UK. Our numbers were once again boosted by two groups of Growling Swan "delinquents" who this time insisted on being together in one minivan for reasons best known to themselves. It was time to farewell Lindsay Fry who is returning to New Zealand on the weekend and also Eric "Judge" Black and Paul Simons who are returning to Geelong, Victoria, Australia.

Our three full mini vans arrived at the quiet course in 50 minutes. After announcing explanations and instructions for the format of the day, which for the first time included an additional competition of "Divorce Pairs," our first four ball got away at 9.55 a.m.

The weather was terrific and there was no-one in front of us so we proceeded at a very good pace, enjoying the condition of the course along the way. The areas around some of the greens that had received much work were progressing well and the greens themselves were in good condition. We took just under two hours to complete our front nine and, with the weather remaining perfect, just had the one drink stop before tackling the "Crocodile Hole", which most of our group managed to score on for a change (except J J). We finished our round in a little under four hours.

It was an enjoyable round (particularly with a group of four "stirrers") and the Divorce Pairs format caused plenty of cursing and finger pointing, but it was all good natured. We still played our own individual Stableford game but were paired off within our groups, i.e., the first two players in the group were a pair and the next two also, etc. The idea then was after completion of a hole, the points of one of the pair was multiplied by the points of their partner. For instance if player One has 5 for 2 and their partner, player Two, has 4 for 3, then 2 x 3 being 6 is their team score for that hole. The downfall is when one of the pair wipes a hole, as 0 times anything = 0. After the round all the team scores are totaled and the winners decided.

In addition to the Divorce Pairs competition we were able to have two grades: A Grade for handicaps 0 to 21 and B Grade for handicaps of 22 and over. We also had nearest the pins on the four par threes and longest first- putt awards on the 9th and 18th. These were collectively sponsored by The Growling Swan, Bernie McCart, Brendan Byrne, Walter Baechli, Ken Bernek and Tony Olcorn. We thank these golfers for their generosity.

In a tight finish at the top of A Grade with two players on 36 points, it was Mike "Hunter" Gosden (18 point back nine) who ended up in first place with Alain "Inspector Clouseau" Taddei (17 point back nine) in second spot. Irishman J J Harney was third with 35 points and with three golfers on 30 points it was necessary to have a count-back to see who was going to miss out. Stu Rifkin (17 point back nine) was fourth and Takeshi Hakozaki (16 point back nine) was fifth with the unlucky one being Brendan "Casper" Byrne (14 point back nine). J C Lhoste was too good in the B Grade winning with 34 points and with three golfers on 33 points another count-back was required. In second place was Fred Dineley (18 point back nine) with Paul Simons (17 point back nine) third and Jerry Dobbs (15 point back nine) in fourth spot. In another count back to decide fifth place it was Max "Two Corsets" Bracegirdle (16 point back nine) who edged out Bernie McCart (14 point back nine), both having 30 points. With just two golfers able to play to their handicap it was the golf course that once more took honours on the day.

Winners in the Divorce Pairs competition were J C Lhoste and Alain Taddei with a combined score of 74 points and in a count-back for second and third places with both pairs having 62 points it was Peter Blackburn and J J Harney (44 point back nine) just beating Mike Gosden and Stu Rifkin (36 point back nine)

Results for Treasure Hill:

A Grade – 0 to 21

1st – Mike Gosden (12) – 36 points

2nd – Alain Taddei (18) – 36 points

3rd – J J Harney (11) – 35 points

4th – Stu Rifkin (14) – 30 points

5th – Takeshi Hakozaki (10) – 30 points

B Grade – 22 and over

1st – J C Lhoste (23) – 34 points

2nd – Fred Dineley (29) – 33 points

3rd – Paul Simons (23) – 33 points

4th – Jerry Dobbs (24) – 33 points

5th – Max Bracegirdle (27) – 30 points

Divorce Pairs

1st – J C Lhoste and Alain Taddei – 74 points

2nd – Peter Blackburn and JJ Harney – 62 points

3rd – Mike Gosden and Stu Rifkin – 62 points

NTP's

2nd – Ken Bernek

6th – Kae

13th – J J Harney

17th – Max Bracegirdle

LFP's

9th – Ken Cornwall

18th – Peter Blackburn

The Growling Swan NAGA Award (for worst score on the day which discreetly is not made public) was won by big Ken Cornwall who took it in very good spirit and insisted on taking the NAGA cap to wear back at the bar. Deefa the Dog was once again paraded by big Ken; he collected many donations for the needy in Pattaya from our ever generous Growling Swan golfers. Back at The Growling Swan afterwards whilst consuming low-priced Aussie beers, much discussion was had regarding the Divorce Pairs format. Whilst most enjoyed the concept it's probable that next time pairs will be comprised of a high handicapper with a low handicapper. Nevertheless, the day was once again enjoyable with lots of laughs and an element of "cheekiness" from certain members of the Growling Swan "delinquents" contingent!

Growling Swan Golf welcomes golfers of any persuasion – low and high handicappers alike, female golfers and beginners. We generally play Mondays and Thursdays, meeting at The Growling Swan (formerly The Bunker Bar) in Soi Chaiyapoon at 8 a.m. with transport departing at 8:30. For bookings or more information contact Peter on 0806 351 386 or email to petermbl@hotmail.com