Mimi the cat seems to hate us!

by Jennifer Mosley

We got Mimi when she was about three months old. She had been a street cat living on scraps but we decided to offer her a home. Mimi accepted the hospitality but it soon became clear she had a mind of her own – Mimi sometimes scratches quite nastily when we stroke her. Not always but sometimes. Of course we knew that kittens learn biting and scratching as a natural part of their development – it's their natural way of killing prey as well as being their main method of defense. But why would Mimi want to bite the hand that feeds her – literally?

The vet told us – and yes Mimi is neutered – that the main mistake humans make is accidentally teaching their cat that hands are toys. Looking back, all the family did tend to make this mistake. We would try and tickle her on her tummy for instance and she would reward us with a bite from those razor-sharp claws. Several family members soon had the scars to prove Mimi's displeasure. My youngest daughter believed that Mimi actually hated us. Our pesky feline would sometimes bite even when approached for a friendly pat on the head. At other times she accepted a few pats without demur.

My wife tried yelling "Ouch!" when Mimi struck and this worked to some extent as long as she did not try to yank her hand away at the same time. The secret seems to be to withdraw your hand slowly from the cat's clutches. Any quick movement leads the animal to think the game is on and that you are ready for another attack. We also heard about scruffing, said to be one of the most effective forms of disciplining felines. It mimics the punishment given to a kitten by its mother when he becomes unruly. I tried grasping Mimi by the scruff of the neck and firmly push her downwards whilst saying "No" in a firm voice and holding the position for about four seconds. The idea is that the cat slinks away feeling guilty. Did this work with Mimi? Well, not much to tell the absolute truth.

After all this experience we decided to try and understand feline body language. We noticed that aggressive behavior almost always happened during a petting session. Perhaps we were ignoring or failing to understand Mimi's body language. When she didn't want to be touched, she narrowed her eyes and her ears were pulled back. This is the time to stop. If you wait until the inevitable tail lashing, it's too late and you'll get a bite.

We also noticed that Mimi is a nervous cat and easily becomes anxious if another cat appears in the garden or tries to enter the house. In these circumstances, Mimi attacks the first thing she sees – it may be the stranger cat or it may be your leg or hand if they happen to be nearer. The only answer here seems to be for humans to shoo away the unwelcome visitor whilst reassuring Mimi at a distance that she is safe and protected.

From time to time we wondered if Mimi had any medical problems which would cause her to indulge in excessive biting and scratching. These could range from undetected wounds, distress from fleas or even a hormonal balance. However the vet said that none of these factors were playing a part in Mimi's aggressive behavior. He said that some cats like to be petted for hours on end but that Mimi was not one of them.

There has been no absolute solution to the Mimi problem in our house. She is still capable of being a bad girl and catching us unawares with a sharp claw or tooth imprint. But as all family members have tried to understand her, in particular trying to take account of her body language, we get fewer bites and bandages on the hand. I personally feel that she started off life as a feral animal and has never quite adjusted to being in the company of humans. In other words, we have decided to grin and bear it. For cat lovers like us there just isn't an alternative.